Scene from "family life".
Venue - a major department store, actors - agitated young fairy and her business fiance. Fairy, tormented agony of choice, frantically torn between frock-style Baby-Doll and baggy jeans. Unable to determine She seeks advice from him. Business fiance, carefully portraying sincere interest, strongly points to the dress.
Fairy smacking him on the cheek and rushes to the checkout. In the hands of her ... jeans. Maybe fascinated fitting, she just missed his words go in one ear? Or is it a healthy reaction rebellious feminists? Most likely, neither one nor the other. "The usual story! - Says the saleswoman. - Girls are asked their opinion of men only to eventually do the opposite! »
Truth saith the mouth of sellers.
Yes, in search of "Ever" jeans we are able to run a marathon shopping. Yes, everyone (well, almost everyone) morning in front of our mirror a drama in 16 acts (no intermission). And, as it turns out, it's all done for the sake of not visual satisfaction of males.
Rather, it is very rare for them. "Of course, women dress to please. But not necessarily men - says psychologist Samuel Lepas. - In fact, she preens not to seduce someone specifically, she wants to look enticing at all. "
So who are we trying to charm?
Theoretically - themselves. But in practice - other women: neighbors, passers-by, friends, enemies. Any country! The fact that at the sight of individuals of the same sex in the head, we hear a snap: "I'm no worse than her ..."
"If a compliment about how I dressed, I make a girl, I'm flattered a thousand times more than the praise of men, - says 26-year-old Anna. - In general, for me a compliment guy somehow always sounds podo¬zritelno: I can not help thinking that I was dressed like something is not right, either as a moth or as farmers, or a skirt I have too short, or neck too frank! »
But the memory of envious glances, who threw girlfriend on our latest acquisition - shoes from Marc Jacobs, will raise us up all day.
"The Other Woman acts as a mirror, and we want our seductive look or elegant attire received approval in her eyes," - explains Samuel Lepas. By the way, if you look on the Internet, we will find a lot of evidence of this.
In the web is full of blogs in which girls in the hope po¬hvalu other wearer are exhibited in their best outfits. There is plenty of clever sites where hunters advanced image hung photos of models or just people off the street, whose views they sunk into the soul, so that all the suffering could be inspired by them.
"Everywhere and anywhere you constantly inspect and evaluate - complains 30-year-old in March. - Now, even to go to the bakery, we have to dress like a fashion show on. On the one hand, it's nice that the street was a lot of well-dressed people, but on the other hand, this means that the "competition" comes more and more competitors, and to compete with everyone in terms of fashion oh how is not easy! »
What to do: As soon as we go beyond the thresholdThen feeling the views of others and themselves instinctively begin to scan all in a row. "Every morning I think over every detail their way, but if I leave the house, as I stumble on trendy beauty and realize that catastrophically nedotyagivaet.
If my leather jackets and tight pants, then, as luck would have it in front of me there and then there is a girl in superzhenstvennom elegant mini dress! And every time I cry (to himself, of course): "Yes! This is it! That's how I wanted to look like! "- Sighs the 25-year-old Maria.
Our life is really complicatedBecause you always want exactly what is a pretty stranger, fluttering near the street. Or that chose a girl from a neighboring cabin fitting.
"Try to guess who the best assistant Seller? Well, of course, a pretty girl who tries on any thing in front of other shoppers. After she leaves with the purchase, all start to demand the same thing! "- Says the saleswoman one large boutique.
Why this eternal need to copy others and try on clothes neighbor?
"This, too, is the effect of a mirror, - says psychologist Samuel Lepas. - Buy clothing that is dazzling girl, so how would it be to get part of her beauty, to join it to the world, to its success. "
Perhaps this explains the incredible success of the collection, created a major fashion icon of modernity Kate Moss for TopShop, and more and more new contracts that star conclude with manufacturers of inexpensive clothing (Kylie Minogue - from H & M, sisters Penelope and Monica Cruz - with Mango, Lou Doillon - with Lee Cooper).
Doctor, maybe you need to be regarded as a serious deviation this unfortunate tendency to imitate the style of dress of her friend all the time, or compare ourselves with all the women who meet on the street and at work?
Is this a symptom of such a dangerous disease, as "lack of self-esteem"?
"Not necessarily - meets Samuel Lepas. - We all need a view from the outside (it only helps build the character). But, of course, it all depends on the degree of your dependence on this view ... If it is too high, for it is often hidden problem in the relationship with the mother, because the first opponent - it was she.
If the mother looked at her daughter kindly, at that, most likely, there will be no reason to doubt its appeal. On the contrary, if the mother was overly critical and stingy with praise, it can lead to the fact that her daughter run short of confidence. "
Psychologist Veronica Moraldi goes on. In her view, beautiful clothes - a kind of revenge for the children's resentment: "In the eyes of others we're looking for some recognition, which did not read in his eyes of her mother. But there is one subtlety: we try to dress attractively, not in order to please everyone.
The main thing - the view of our reference group of people who are similar to ourselves or our idols. "Kate Moss" your district wanted to spit on the opinion of its neighbor, if it has not grown to its progressive style. "
"Your clothes - a kind of message, which tells you about the others and indicates your position in society or in some particular group - picks Florence Müller, fashion historian and teacher
French Fashion Institute. - Clothes of a brand can play a role passes, which gives you the right to social progress. In this case, it becomes a symbol of your success. "
If your reference group bows only to the trademarks of the leaders of the fashion market, such a message is even more clear:
"I have the money to buy a couture dress, then you tell me - not a couple! "But the true" snobka ", which no one and do not need to prove choose something that is not just gorgeous, and well-known exclusively dedicated (eg, in the spirit of Martin Margiela).
The meaning of this message - you have to "recognize" only their clothes ... acts as identity, she says who you are, what you do, who your friends are. In a word: "I dress, therefore I am." Or this: "I dress, therefore I belong to a certain social group." "I'd rather die than come to a fashion show on the heels of less than 12 centimeters - recognized fashion editor of a glossy magazine. - Although for me it is a real torture.
Had to endure two weeks in a row, and then the whole year wearing orthopedic shoes ... But if you dare to come in low-heeled shoes, be prepared for the fact that you were lynched! »
Between the girls from one "party" spirit of competition even more.
"In our company, the main thing - the first who will buy the underlying trend of the season - says 25-year-old Valeria. - Even though this is done in order to stand out, in the end we are all about the same dress. But it does not bother anyone, on the contrary, even gives us confidence ... "But the same - it's flowers, and" berry "is that the same clothes can transmit several others (and sometimes conflicting)" messages. "
It all depends on on whom these clothes and who reads the "message." What does any sweater with a picture of Mickey Mouse on a girl under 10 years old? For parties of the central districts it sends a signal: "I am a cool girl - and I overweening! "For others," Recently, I was at Disneyland - and it was great! "Who said that dress - simple?
Tifen Dyushtel